I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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