They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
