I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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