D3 body, D1 cock
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
wow bdsm is so cute
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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