is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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