Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
