He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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