She said her name was "party"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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