We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
