bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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