I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
