My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Enjoy the penises
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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