You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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