We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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