Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
