I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
