Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
