neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
