She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She's the barista slut.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
