So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
