I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
