East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize