I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
