She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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