Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is the high leading the old right now
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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