i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
