How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
