Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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