the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
