Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I AM VODKA MAN
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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