Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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