So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
