dude i'm inner monologue high
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
