"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
