Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize