I'm going to jail i love you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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