Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
