shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
