just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Farmville is her only friend.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
