jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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