I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
