Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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