I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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