I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
