weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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