Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
