he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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