you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
