im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
