Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
